I want to hear rain againlike it felt before the PTSD. water everywhere;none yet clean enough to drink. it’s like a metaphor for my life: being stuck; drowning in myself.

Keep reading

an update and future plans

I have given up on my paper crafting business for now, for the following reasons: I don’t have enough time to craft, since I’m too busy with teaching these days. There was not much interest in my products and it was a bit discouraging. I feel like I was going through a manic phase when I started the Etsy shop. (I’m bipolar.) I was so enthusiastic about creating things, and in my excitement I dove headfirst into financial jeopardy by investing so much time and money into a new business. Now that some time has passed, I have a clearer…

Keep reading
low angle view of man standing at night

you are my destruction

I’m being haunted by a ghost. He’s never really there, but sometimes he makes a sound, and makes me think I’m not alone. He’s like cigarettes to me; they both destroy me slowly, but I can’t stop reaching for them when I’m low. He doesn’t know how to love; he can only run away. But I, when I feel something, I run towards it with all my heart. I’m not afraid to love, and I’m not scared of ghosts.

Keep reading
smiling couple holding hands on balcony

ellerin (your hands)

your hands, always seeking mine to hold for comfort; at night, wielding a knife to cook for me; when you write, holding your pen the wrong way, and holding on way too tightly; your hands, my love, are precious to me. they are calloused from work; there’s dust under your fingernails. still,even if divine angels came down from heaven, and reached their holy hands out to me, I would reach for yours instead, because your hands, my love, ellerin, they captivate me, then set me free.

Keep reading
young woman drinking glass of cold pure water


My brain is trying to kill my body slowly: “You ate yesterday; you don’t need to eat today.” What kind of self-destructive reasoning is that? Anorexia: skip meals all day; eat cake at night. You need those calories, after all, but they make you feel more tired than before. Get a hold of yourself; you’re an adult! Besides, what’s so bad about being fat? “You won’t fit your favorite clothes.” So what? You’ll buy some new ones. “You want to be the smallest person in the room, don’t you?” Yeah, and I hate it.

Keep reading
modern video camera and laptop near opened notebook

openness 📖

How much would you like to know about me? You can care only so much. You don’t want to know every struggle that every individual goes through. How much do you really want to know about my background, sexuality, passions, and loves? Maybe we can connect if you find a thread that ties us together. Do you really want to know what makes me sad, angry, indignant? Will you grow hateful and malicious, if we don’t see eye to eye? Before I lay myself out in the open, before I strip my heart bare, I just wanted to ask: do…

Keep reading
young lady typing on keyboard of laptop in living room


I forgot what I was going to say; it’s on the tip of my tongue. Here comes a torrent of new thought; do I have it in me to make sense of it all? My hands long to be busy; my toes will not stop wriggling in anxiety. Peace is a concept foreign to me; although dad says it can be found in piety. I no longer have faith, so I won’t prayto God to cure my ADHD.I just take it day by day,and hope that I can just be.

Keep reading
walden woodworkers wooden washi tape holders (mahogany) with a vase of red paper roses in the background

Galen Leather Review 📔

I first ordered from Galen Leather a few weeks ago and I have been using their journal covers ever since then. They are a small company based in my hometown, Istanbul, and they have received a lot of attention in the recent years due to the online journaling community. They sell handmade leather products, office supplies, and journaling supplies on their site. I am very pleased with the quality of material and the functionality of their products. Overall, I would recommend every item featured in this review. (However, I haven’t used the leather balm yet, so I can’t say whether…

Keep reading


Something went wrong. Please refresh the page and/or try again.